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Aug
6

My Rollercoaster

I am a 37 yr old mother of four children.  I have been with my husband for 14 years. In August 2017, my husband suffered a heart attack. Little did we know, this was the start of a very perilous journey for us. That wasn't the end of it at all like we thought it was. It was just the start. He went thru the next year battling depression after he lost his job because he wasn't able to keep up with the work load like he used to before the heart attack. That spurred the depression into overtime at that point. He has since then been diagnosed with a rare arterial condition amongst men called SCAC which stands for Spontaneous Coronary Arterial Dissection. It basically means that his artery walls rip and tear all of the time for no reason at all. He has since then suffered numerous seizures as well as 1 other diagnosed heart attack in April of this year (2019) but he has said several times that he's sure he has had more in between those 2.
I am a preacher's daughter born and raised. My father was a preacher/ pastor and evangelist during my years growing up so I know who my Lord is and I know the power of prayer. I also know what the enemy can do and that he fights us all of the time. My father passed away in 2003 still having that unmovable faith. And I try to keep that as well but I am growing weary. The past almost 3 years has been so very difficult on our children but I think even more so to a point on myself as his wife. I wake up and go to work at a job where I am actually being demoted because I have had to miss so much work because of my husband's medical issues. No one understands that I have to fight fear everyday .. fear that my husband is going to have another seizure while he is at home with our 3 yr old son and no one will be there to help him and there is no guarantee that he will come out of it. Or the fear that he may not wake up. He doesn't eat much and has lost over 60 pounds this year since January. He doesn't sleep hardly at all either. He just cannot work at all. We are so far behind on our bills and I have utilized every organization I can find for help with rent and utilities.
I guess I just need some extra help praying for that financial miracle that we so desperately need right now. I don't want to lose the only home we have and we are in serious risk of that due to our back rent that we owe. Also for strength so I can stay strong and keep pushing forward.
You all are a blessing to so many people in my area not to mention me so thank you for all that you do on a daily basis.